I love this old Hindi song 
Ajeeb daastaan hai yeh
Kahaan shuruu kahaan khatam
Yeh manzilein hai kaun sii
Na woh samajh sake na hum
I believe God has plans, ones that I’m blissfully unaware of. I do wonder where they end sometimes, but I still know that He is Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnipresent.
Clive and I are simply vessels in His hand to be used for His glory. And even though I sometimes don’t understand the difficult paths we’re led through, I know that those will refine us for His glory and the extension of His kingdom.
I sometimes think of how God brought Clive and me to together and I cannot stop being amazed at His plan, providence and wisdom. This morning I woke up with the intention of going to the gym (and I will, only in the afternoon 
). I was supposed to go with Ms V who’s one of my roommates. However, I realized that she was busy arguing with someone over the phone. I realized that it might have been her family so I didn’t interrupt. After the whole drama was over and she hung up rudely (on her mother, as I got to know later), she came out to tell us what it was all about. Her mother was telling her to consider some boy that they’ve seen for her. And she was arguing because the boy is 5′9″. She ideally wants someone who is 6′, but she was willing to settle for 5′10″!!
I thought back to what I had wanted in a husband, sure one of the things on my list was that he should be taller than me, but I hadn’t written down such specificity and I’m glad that I let God work in the way that He did. I am very thankful for Clive. We do have our disagreements and I hate the distance and the fact that I don’t get to see him often, but I’m very very glad that God brought him into my life. It is my hope that God will refine us in our walk with Him and that we would see His purpose in bringing the two of us together. I want us to look back and see His hand in all that He has done, but I also want us to look forward and be proactive in our relationship with Him and when I don’t see that happening sometimes it frustrates me 
This is my first post in a really long time. This semester has been really rough. Earlier I managed 12 credit hours alongside work. This semester it has turned tables on me and I’ve barely managed to keep my head above the water.
But the reason for this post is not to bemoan my woes. It’s to pour out my heart about a little girl who endeared herself to me. What I got to know today broke my heart and made me pray a prayer with heartfelt tears, something I haven’t done in along time. That little girl’s name is Erica and she is a 2 year old in my Sunday school class. Erica is the youngest among 4 siblings. I knew that one of her neighbors brought her to church every Sunday. Even at the age of 2, she had a motherly affection in her. Whenever there was a child younger or shorter than her in class, she would go around pampering him/her saying “baby”, hugging them, and caressing them. She walked into class with a huge smile and had a manner that drew all of us to her.
I hadn’t seen her in class for the past two weeks so I got concerned, especially because I knew that she probably came from a broken and neglected home. Her clothes smelled of cigarette smoke many-a-times. So, this morning I asked my co-ordinator where she was. She said the week before last Erica and her siblings were placed in foster care because there was a complaint and that this is the 11th investigation in their case!! Right now we don’t know which family they have been placed with, but are hoping that they can be placed with a foster family from church. This is particularly difficult because most foster families take in children of a particular age group and in Erica’s case, the age range of her siblings is too vast, 2 yrs-11 yrs. Over and above that the 2 older children are supposedly very rebellious, which might end up meaning that foster parents might not want to keep them for too long indirectly meaning that the 4 siblings might not be able to stay together for too long.
I’d like for whoever reads this blog to pray for that little girl and her family. I know that there are many other such cases, in and around us, but here is one that touched my heart and I’d like to entreat anyone who reads this to say a little prayer. It is my own prayer that God would watch over them and keep them from harm’s way and that in due time they would come to know the Lord, despite the harrowing times they are in right now.
Had to delete the pics coz the significant other was uncomfortable being in the spotlight
Haven’t blogged in a while…sometimes I think I want to take a long break and then again there is so much going on that my only respite is to write. Writing calms my nerves, much like a drink calms other people down. Maybe my restlessness is more to do with the fact that I’m not writing…will ponder..until then..ciao…
I’ve been blogging after God alone knows how long. I’m either not in the mood to blog or don’t want to write about things I want the whole world to read. I had a nice b’day. Enough said..more details will let the cat out of the bag.
Ah, also, I’ve moved, hopefully for the last time. I have no interest in moving again. My next move is definitely after marraige when I move in with Clive. Hopefully, the process then will not be as painful! The guys who lived here prior to us have made it roach haven, thanks to filthy living and leaving food lying around! We have been trying to clean as much as we can. I have cleaned it out with soap and water, pesticide, insect repellant etc etc..but inspite of this my roommate doesn’t seem satisfied.
The roaches are going to take a while to go away completely, but we cannot live like nomads until then. All our stuff was in boxes and we have not been cooking ever since we got here. I didn’t think it was possible to keep living like this which is why I cleaned and put things in the cupboards. When we use them we can wash them thoroughly anyways, but I don’t see how I can convince her this!
This brings into perspective my concern of this kind of living situation. When I was living somewhere I wanted it to be my own space. This is my own space, but the fact that my roommates are not believers makes it difficult sometimes. I love them very much, but it’s a task sometimes to live with people who dont want the things that you wnat or have different priorities. Living missionally is a challenge, especially in one’s own house. I am anticipating this next year or however long I live here to be tedious, difficult and one where I will have to experience the grace of Christ daily and let it flow through me and reach my roommates. It will be difficult if I let my carnal self take over and destroy relationships I have built. It will be a very bad testimony and I think I will let God down. I wonder if the latter is something I should be bothered about. Hmm..
The heat is at a 100F, and it’s killing! I know I’ve lived in India and the temperature was almost the same, but for some reason this seems worse than that and no, I’m not acting like a firangi
I’ve almost completed a year here in Texas. This year will be my first one away from home, but also, hopefully the most memorable, for reasons the world does not need to know. I didn’t get the internship that I was hoping for and strangely, I’m not as disappointed as I thought I’d be…His grace is overwhelming. What does bother me is how soon I’m going to finish this program. I feel like I’m running out of patience, but I still have 2 years to go and I can’t do anything but complete it well…
I’ve come to realize that I like cooking and feeding people I made a new friend today. She’s Puerto Rican and she’s been to Bihar for a mission trip. I had never met her, but I enjoyed cooking and feeding her so much 
I think I should consider going and cooking for a community kitchen or something!! Time put to good use…not to mention my skills too. The only thing that is not helped by my incessant cooking is my weight. I’ve managed to lose a few pounds, but the bulk of it remains and I really want to lose it, well ahead of the wedding, whenever that is…God help me!!
I have finally found time to update my blog. These past few weeks have been tumultous to say the least. I’ve moved from the dorm, dunno if I mentioned that in an earlier post, to a friend’s apartment. Now we’ve moved again to a sub-lease, a one bedroom apartment that doesn’t hold our stuff together and we’re moving AGAIN in August, thankfully and finally to a 3-bed townhouse.
Also, back home the mood has been upbeat with “confirmations” galore. I have not yet understood what they meant and I don’t think I ever will, but that overlooking, I can safely name Clive in my posts henceforth, thanks to the “confirmations” I always had to think twice before naming him not because it was some undercover operation or because I was ashamed that I love him but because “people” outside my immediate family weren’t informed. Anyways, with that out of my way, I can move on with life. And for the record, if you read this, I love you Clive
I am hoping I bag that internship at UNT. It would give me something more worthwhile to do and some extra cash in the kitty that is ALWAYS welcome Another thing I am looking forward to are the bible studies on Thursday nights. I hope I get to continue forming and maintaining relationships through those. Well the last few days of my carefree days with only work and no class are coming to an end and I’m waiting to see what else Summer has in store
Love,
Me!
I have finished my second semester and I am alive But on a serious note, this has been the worst semester EVER. I know there have been only two, but people normally say your first sem is the worst, looks like I proved them wrong. I always have something about me that has to break the norm, and normally it’s not a very good and pleasant thing. I am getting an ‘A’ on 3 courses. The 4th course I don’t know. If I get a ‘B’ it will be my own fault coz I didn’t study hard enough for my final. I was busy day-dreaming about someone. I don’t know if I’m being hard on myself, or maybe I want to see how far and how long I can take my 4.0 GPA for granted. I know I’ll probably be heartbroken the day it goes below 4.0, but maybe I don’t have to be such a stickler for the 4.0
My life seems to revolve around school and Mr. G, well and Sunday School too. I am learning so much from these little 2 year old kids. God shows me how they can relate to them. And how sin is so real and ingrained in their little selves and how they can be little devils behind their cute and angelic faces. It’s a first hand account of understanding of how we are born in sin. No one teaches them to hit and bite and push and punch, but they learn it darn well those little ones, even at the age of 2. And I also see how God has wired us in our roles. I have a lil girl named Erica who is so maternal that we all have a blast seeing her guide the other supposedly “younger” kids around. Any kid who seems younger to her has a taste of her maternal side She’ll go around herding them saying “C’mon baby, c’mon” she’s the cutest. I also saw another kid’s parents for the first time. They normally come in with their grandparents who are their legal guardians because their parents have had problems with substance abuse. She and her one year old brother look so picture perfect that sometimes I have to be reminded that not everything that looks perfect is perfect, they can be broken inside.
I haven’t gone to church for two weeks. I have gone for Sunday School, but not to church and I better wake up early and make it there. I feel guilt pangs later but sleeping at 2 has its sideeffects and no, I’m not studying!! which gives me no good reason to be staying awake that late. Lately, I’ve gotten hooked to CSI. I don’t know what about that show makes me stick there and watch it!! Also, I have been going to professional meetings with Mariya, and they’re a good way to network. But this is not a good season to look for an internship, leave alone a job. But I hope it gets better and I know that God has me in the hollow of His palm and that I can trust Him with my future. I have to go in an hour’s time to a dinner, so I should wrap up this post soon.
Other things weighing on my mind? My overwhelming over-the-top fixation about my weight that somehow has other people like my mom fixated on it. But I need to make some resolutions so i can lose those extra pounds. Also, I have been wondering lately about life in general. Yes, I try to live to be an example to people around me, but I fall short of God’s standards – lots of times. And then I try picking up the pieces of my life and keep running the race. At the end I really want to hear the words “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” I wonder where I will be two years from now, what we’ll be upto, who we will be ministering to, if we’ll be having kids around, I don’t know the answers, so I gather I’ll simply wait and watch. Sometimes I wish I could video-tape my life and look back at it. Darn good way to learn from your mistakes I say!
I have been long gone from the blogging scene. It’s not that I don’t have anything to write about, just that I either don’t make the time or it’s way too personal for me to want the world to read it.
Right now there are so many things on my mind that I’m surprised I can even function. And no, it’s not depressing, just a lot of random stuff that gets me bogged down. I am hoping to be able to work for 40 hours in the summer so I can accumulate some fund for the “Save Ashwini from bankruptcy fund” joking…but it would be nice to have some extra money just so I know it’s there and I can use it in times of an emergency. God has never been short handed and never will be. I make just enough to get by, and I mean JUST enough, though at times I wish there was a little more to use, especially when it comes to being able to take a flight and go meet “you-know-who” at least once in three months or so. Anyways I shall not complain, He will provide if he has to. At least I don’t have to scrape for groceries. I am blessed to be able to eat enough and well and be able to pay tuition, whilst many other s are struggling.
I have also been postponing doing important chores that I cannot postpone any longer. I should get them done ASAP. I’m really looking forward to the summer. There will be no school for 3 weeks before summer classes begin and that’s the time when I have to move and settle into a new apartment before I can move again into my more “permanent home”. I’m excited to be moving next to Sarah and Jennifer. I will sorely miss Michelle though, she’s fun to be around. What excites me the most are that there will be no more trips to the College Inn kitchenette…YAHOOO….I need to have a grocery list that’s budgeted, I’ve realized that a week or two after I buy groceries, I end up throwing at least 1 item away because it’s spoilt. Now the main reason is that my fridge is a goner…old and not cold enough! But I should’ve realized that by now and should buy 1 item less in my next trip to the store…I hate wasting stuff, this week I threw away a whole cucumber….what a waste! I think I’ll be a good “budgetor” when I have a family. I won’t be the kind who wastes. It pricks my heart to see food going waste. Also considering that I probably spend not more than $100 a month on groceries and fruits I think I’m on the right track, not to mention, I’m eating healthy..not unhealthy.
OK now enough of meandering – I’ll get back to my report
