Spring ‘09 is deceased..or not quite yet, grades yet to be posted….

I have finished my second semester and I am alive But on a serious note, this has been the worst semester EVER. I know there have been only two, but people normally say your first sem is the worst, looks like I proved them wrong. I always have something about me that has to break the norm, and normally it’s not a very good and pleasant thing. I am getting an ‘A’ on 3 courses. The 4th course I don’t know. If I get a ‘B’ it will be my own fault coz I didn’t study hard enough for my final. I was busy day-dreaming about someone. I don’t know if I’m being hard on myself, or maybe I want to see how far and how long I can take my 4.0 GPA for granted. I know I’ll probably be heartbroken the day it goes below 4.0, but maybe I don’t have to be such a stickler for the 4.0

My life seems to revolve around school and Mr. G, well and Sunday School too. I am learning so much from these little 2 year old kids. God shows me how they can relate to them. And how sin is so real and ingrained in their little selves and how they can be little devils behind their cute and angelic faces. It’s a first hand account of understanding of how we are born in sin. No one teaches them to hit and bite and push and punch, but they learn it darn well those little ones, even at the age of 2. And I also see how God has wired us in our roles. I have a lil girl named Erica who is so maternal that we all have a blast seeing her guide the other supposedly “younger” kids around. Any kid who seems younger to her has a taste of her maternal side She’ll go around herding them saying “C’mon baby, c’mon” she’s the cutest. I also saw another kid’s parents for the first time. They normally come in with their grandparents who are their legal guardians because their parents have had problems with substance abuse. She and her one year old brother look so picture perfect that sometimes I have to be reminded that not everything that looks perfect is perfect, they can be broken inside.

I haven’t gone to church for two weeks. I have gone for Sunday School, but not to church and I better wake up early and make it there. I feel guilt pangs later but sleeping at 2 has its sideeffects and no, I’m not studying!! which gives me no good reason to be staying awake that late. Lately, I’ve gotten hooked to CSI. I don’t know what about that show makes me stick there and watch it!! Also, I have been going to professional meetings with Mariya, and they’re a good way to network. But this is not a good season to look for an internship, leave alone a job. But I hope it gets better and I know that God has me in the hollow of His palm and that I can trust Him with my future. I have to go in an hour’s time to a dinner, so I should wrap up this post soon.

Other things weighing on my mind? My overwhelming over-the-top fixation about my weight that somehow has other people like my mom fixated on it. But I need to make some resolutions so i can lose those extra pounds. Also, I have been wondering lately about life in general. Yes, I try to live to be an example to people around me, but I fall short of God’s standards – lots of times. And then I try picking up the pieces of my life and keep running the race. At the end I really want to hear the words “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” I wonder where I will be two years from now, what we’ll be upto, who we will be ministering to, if we’ll be having kids around, I don’t know the answers, so I gather I’ll simply wait and watch. Sometimes I wish I could video-tape my life and look back at it. Darn good way to learn from your mistakes I say!